Why Cant We Seem To Keep It Together
by Cadalinda
Summary: Danny made a big mistake and Lindsay made one just as big. Can they forgive and forget or are the wounds to deep. Suck at summ please R
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** **Here is my new CSI NY story. The idea just kinda hit me today so I thought I'd start and see how u guys like it.**

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"We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?" – Grey's Anatomy

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The sun hit Lindsay face making her wince in pain. Her head was pounding and her mouth was dry and she was about to be sick. Closing her eyes again trying her best not to throw up she cursed herself for drinking that much. Once her stomach calmed down she looked around to see where she was. The bed wasn't hers and neither was this room which greatly confused her. She looked at the bed beside her thankful it was empty. She stayed lying down trying to remember her night and how she ended up here when her cell phone interrupted her thoughts.

_Gravity why can't we seem to get it together_. By the ring she knew it was Danny and part of the night came back.

_Flashback._

"Lindsay can you please just talk to me?"

"No Danny I won't just talk to you." She was trying her best to walk away from him so he couldn't see the tears in her eyes.

"Please Lindsay I'm sorry." He grabbed her hand and spun her around so she was facing him.

"No Danny. You said you need space so I backed off then you sleep with someone else are you kidding me." She pulled her arm away and started to walk again.

"I love you Montana." She spun around on her heels and slapped him across the face.

"No you don't." She walked away no longer holding in the tears.

_End Flashback_

The phone stopped ringing but then started again. Every time it would stop and start she felt her heart break a little bit more. She could feel the tears starting to form and she pushed them away before they made their way down her face. She was about to get up when the room started to spin. She didn't know where she was but she knew she was safe so she decided she would try and get some more sleep. She had just entered a light sleep when she felt the bed beside her dip down then a pair of arms wrap around her. She looked down at them and got a sharp pain of guilt in her stomach. She lifted the arm and rolled over her face being met with blue eyes and a smile.

"Morning beautiful." He leaned in and kissed her lips lightly.

"Morning Flack."

**A/N: So here is the first chapter. Let me know what you think. I love reading you reviews it makes me want to write more and more.**


	2. Chapter 2

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"Lorelai: Is this like a Mafia thing?

Luke: Excuse me?

Lorelai: The whole coming in, special table, reserved sign. Are you gonna have to whack someone before the soup course?

Luke: No, I've filled my whacking quota for the week. Dirty?

Lorelai:] Extremely.

Luke: Thought so" –Gilmore Girls.

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The moment Lindsay looked into Flacks eye the whole night hit her like a subway.

_Flashback_

Lindsay was sitting at the bar staring at the 5 empty shot glasses that were sitting in front of her. She had just found out Danny cheated on her and wanted to forget if only for the night. She was about to order the 6th shot when she felt someone sit beside her.

"Hey Monroe." Flack loosened his tie and rested his head on his hands.

"Flack." She didn't take her stare away from the bar. The bartended walked over poured Lindsay another shot and gave Flack a beer.

"Danny slept with someone else." She downed the shot and turned to see Flack staring at her in shock.

"What? Who?" Flack was beyond shocked Danny loved her.

"With Rikki after Ruben died." She could feel the tears forming again.

"Oh Lindsay." Flack pulled her into a hug trying his best to make her feel better.

"What brings you here?" Lindsay asked him trying to draw the attention away from herself.

"Rough day." He stayed with his arm around her rubbing her back. The two sat in silence and just drank. After half an hour Lindsay finally spoke.

"Flack do you mind bring me to a hotel I can't sleep at my place tonight it's just too much."

"Lindsay your not staying at a hotel you'll stay at my place I have an extra room you can use." She was about to fight it but was to tired to

"Thanks Flack." They both got up paying for their tabs and walked silently to the car. The drive to Flacks was quite but he kept watching her. When they finally got to the house Flack helped Lindsay from the car. They walked into the house and Flack went right to the fridge.

"Here Linds drink this." He handed her a bottle of water and walked off to his room returning with his NYPD sweats in his hand. " Here you can sleep in these." She looked up at him and smiled for the first time that night.

"Thanks Flack for everything." She pulled him into a hug then stood up. "Do you mind showing me where the room is?" Flack started walking through the apartment and she followed. The two got to the door and he opened it for her.

"Here you go Linds." He stood back and let her walk in watching her sit down and the bed dropping her head in her hands. It killed Flack to see her like this nobody knew he had a thing for her but never acted in it because of Danny. He walked into the room and bent down in front of her cupping her face with his hands.

"Lindsay you are the most beautiful smart funny women I have never met in my life. Danny was an absolute dumbass for doing what he did to you. But you'll get through this I promised." He let go of her face and pulled her into a hug. He felt her tears and his shoulder so he pulled back and wiped them with his thumbs. He couldn't help himself and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. She put her hands on top of his that were still on her cheeks giving them a squeeze. He kissed her forehead again then her nose then both cheek then before he knew it his lips were on hers. Lindsay didn't pull away from the kiss but deepened it for some reason it felt of kiss him. She took her hands of his and started to run them through his hair and holding on to his neck. Flack let go of her face and wrapped his arms around her body. Lindsay hands moved from his neck down to the front of his body. Flack knew where this was heading so he pulled away.

"Linds we can't."

"Flack please don't pull away from me." He could see the pleading in her eyes. He brought his lips back to hers then pulled her up so she was standing. Slowly the two started to undress each other and Flack picked her up and brought her into his room on his bed. If he was going to sleep with Lindsay it was going to be in his bed.

_End Flashback_

"How are you feeling?" Flack brushed Lindsay bangs out of her face.

"Physically like I was run the hell over and emotionally like I should jump off the Brooklyn bridge." She tired to smile but she didn't have it in her. Don put his on her face and stroked her cheek.

"You'll be ok Lindsay I promise." She just nodded loving the feeling of him touching her.

"Do you mind if I shower?" Lindsay just wanted to wash away yesterday and start fresh. Don got up and scooped Lindsay into his arms causing her to laugh for the first time in the past two days. He brought her into the bathroom placing her feet on the floor and handing her a towel.

"Call if you need anything." Flack left the bathroom leaving Lindsay to shower in peace. She turned on the water and started to shower when it hit her all over again. The pain from Dannys actions hit her all over again. She hadn't noticed but she started talking to herself.

"Why didn't he love me enough am I not good enough for him." Her tears started flowing freely. She sat down in the shower bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. Flack had heard her talking to herself and her crying he couldn't resist going in there and making her feel better. Lindsay didn't hear the door open but only felt his arms around her and him pulling her to his chest.

"Shhh Baby its gonna be ok."

**A/N: I am so glad you guys like it so far your reviews mean soooooooooooooo much to me. Sorry the flashback is so long I just wanted to make sure everyone knew how we got to where we are. I really like where this is going so far for some reason CSI NY stories are so easy to right. Once again thanks to everyone who review esp my two girls who followed from the first story. All OF YOU GUYS ARE ROCKSTARS. Keep em coming.**


	3. Chapter 3

Lindsay left Dons and headed home. After her shower he made her breakfast and then she left. She thanked him for everything then went of her way. How could she have slept with Don? He was Dannys best friend she kept yelling at herself the whole way home. Everything from the past two days kept hitting her in waves. First it was guilt then anger then pain then the least likely of them all happiness. The happiness only hit when she remembered the feeling of Dons arms around her. The feeling that she got with him scared her she was still technically with Danny but her heart wasn't fully there any more. She got home and went right into her room and feel into her bed. She was still in Dons sweats and that made her feel better. She noticed the flashing light of her answering machine on her night table.

_15 New Messages._ Lindsay rolled her eyes because she knew that ever last one of them was from Danny. She didn't want to hear anything he had to say he hurt her to much to listen to him right now. She was about to fall asleep when she heard a knock at her door. She slowly rolled of her bed and made her way to the door. Not bothering to check who it was she opened the door surprised at who she saw.

"Danny what the hell are you doing here?" Danny looked like he was put through the ringer. He looked broken and tired.

"I need to talk to you I called but you don't answer." Lindsay was about to speak when Danny cut her off. "Lindsay I fucked up bad. I pushed you away when I should have brought you closer to me. I didn't know how to deal with the pain so I went to her I shouldn't have but I did. Now I'm worse then I was because I lost you. In this past year and a half you have become a part of me and that part is missing now so I'm lost. I love you with all of me I have never loved anyone like this but I love you." Lindsay kept trying to speak but he wouldn't let her. "Montana I need you in my life please forgive please. Montana will you marry me?" Lindsay just stood in shock she didn't know what to say but she couldn't let him just walk back in like everything was ok.

"Danny I slept with someone last night." Lindsay lowered her head and just stared at her hands. For the first time since Danny got there he was speechless.

"What did you just say?" The pain was evident in his eyes.

"I said I slept with someone last night."

"Who?" For the first time since he started talking he took in her appearance. She was in over sized NYDP sweats. He knew they weren't hers because hers fit tight to her body and they weren't his because his were that loose on her then it hit him.

"Lindsay you didn't?" She could see tears starting to form in his eyes. "Please Lindsay tell me you didn't sleep with my best friend." Lindsay didn't answer just kept staring her hands. "My god Lindsay you did didn't you?" Dannys chest was burning he was so anger.

"Danny" was all she could get out before he threw a box at her then walked away. Her heart broke even more as she watched his back getting further away from her. She bent down and picked up the box he threw and her and it was an engagement ring a beautiful engagement ring. He had really wanted to marry her and that blew her away. Without thinking she went to her cell and dialled his number.

"Hey Flack its me. Umm Danny was just here and saw me in your sweats and he knows we slept together."

"Linds are you ok?" The concern in his voice was for her and also the friendship he was probably about to lose.

"He asked me to marry him."


	4. Chapter 4

Danny got on his bike and started to drive. He didn't know where he was going he just knew he needed to be away from her. He knew what he did was wrong but what she did was worse. He kept driving around the city trying to clam down. This wasn't working and before he knew it he was at the door of the person he least wanted to see. He knocked on the door waiting for an answer and when it came his fist made contact with his face.

"You son of a bitch." Danny stood over Flack who was on the floor. It wasn't so much the power of the blow but the shock of it. Flack got to his feet holding his jaw.

"Danny I'm sorry man." Flack did feel bad for sleeping with her while she was with Danny but he wouldn't take it back even if he could.

"Why did you do it? Did I do something to you that you felt the need to sleep with my Montana?" This sent Flack into a tail spin.

"No you don't get to call her that anymore you slept with another woman while you were with her. You broke her not me." This caused Danny to throw another punch.

"Go to hell." Danny turned and walked away before his friend could see his tears. In a matter of hours he lost the love of his like and his best friend. The anger and pain was becoming too much and he needed to let it out. Instead of getting on his bike he went to the brick wall and start punching it. The pain in his hand was over whelming and the blood was pour but he didn't stop. Finally when the pain become to much he got on his bike and went to the hospital. He was sitting in a room when the doctor came in.

"So what happened here?" She grabbed Dannys head checking it over.

"Got into a fight with the wall guess who won." He just stared at his feet when he was being checked.

"For sure you need stitches and its probably broken." The doctor cleaned up the blood then stitched it up. After that was done he was sent for x-rays and a cast put on his hand. He looked down at it more pissed off then when he started. For a while Danny sat on a bench outside the hospital thinking. He was replaying the event of the past three days in his head. Why did he have to tell Lindsay? If he didn't say anything she wouldn't have known but he was going to ask her to marry him and he wanted to do it guilt free. The more he thought about it the more it killed him. He was the one who drove her into Flacks arms. He got on his bike and drove home with much difficulty. It took him twice the time but he made it. Once he was home he walked up to the door and saw a box sitting in front of the door. He bent down to pick it up and brought it into his apartment. He set it on the counter and opened it. Inside was the ring box and a note from Lindsay saying I love you and I'm sorry. He knew she wasn't saying sorry for the thing with Flack but saying sorry she couldn't marry him which ripped his heart out even more.


	5. Chapter 5

The young man came to the old man seeking counsel. I broke something, Old man.

How badly is it broke?

It's in a million little pieces.

I'm afraid I can't help you.

Why?

There's nothing you can do.

Why?

It can't be fixed.

Why?

It's broken beyond repair. It's in a million little pieces. – A million Little Pieces.

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When Lindsay woke up her chest was heavy. She had to work today and she knew both of them would be there. Flack had called her and told her Danny punched him for what happened which intensified her guilt. She got out of bed to shower and for the first time in a few days looked in the mirror. Her face was red and puffy with deep bags under her eyes. She turned on the water as hot as she could stand it and got in. The water was hurting her but at least her mind was off the other pain. Once she was done she dried her hair and started her make-up she tired her best to cover up the pain on her face.

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Danny woke up late and quickly jumped in the shower. His hand was killing him but his heart hurt more. He knew he would see her today and that killed him. He also knew he was see Flack and that made him angry all over again. Danny knew he had to be professional this was his job after all. He got out of the shower, dressed quickly and went to get on the subway. It was just his luck that today was slow and all there was to do was paper work in their office. Danny walked up to the door and saw her sitting there. She looked broken and it hurt him but it was partly her own fault she felt that way. Danny finally walked in causing Lindsay to look up from her desk.

"Oh my god Danny what happened to your hand?" She jumped off her chair and went to reach for his hand but he pulled back.

"Don't you don't get to be the girl I love right now." He grabbed his stuff from the desk and headed to the break room, there was no way he could be with her right now. Tears were forming in Lindsays eye but she would be damned if she let him see them. As soon as he was out of sight Lindsay collapsed in her chair and cried. Even after what he did she was still in love with him and would have married him. Lindsay knew that Danny wouldn't go back to her after sleeping with Flack and that hurt her even more. Lindsay laid her head on her desk trying to stop her tears so she could finish her work and go home. Flack saw her doing this and felt the need to go to her. With out knocking he walked into her office knelling beside her.

"Babe you ok?'" He wasn't sure if It was ok to call her babe. He had done it before and she didn't say anything.

"Danny was in here and his hands broken and he can't stand to be near me." Instead of slowing down the tears sped up. Flack pulled her into his arms and let her cry on his shoulder.

"It's ok I'm here." He rubbed her hair and her back trying to make her feel better. The two were so caught up in the moment they didn't hear Danny re-enter.

"How sweet? Please don't let me interrupt you." He gave them both a look, threw a folder in his desk then walked out again.

"Great please tell me how the hell this day could get worse." Lindsay watched Danny walk away.

"Linds he'll get over it but can we talk tonight after work?" Lindsay knew what he wanted to talk about but she didn't want to face it right now.

"Ya sure." She got up and walked away before anymore could be said. The day past faster then Lindsay would have liked it to. She had already been to her office and not it was time to leave. The conversation they were about to have had to be done but she wasn't ready the pain was still too much.

"Hey Lindsay I was thinking we could go eat. Is that all right with you?"

"Ya that's fine." The two went to a Chinese restaurant 10 minutes away from the lab. They ordered their food and sat in silence for a while until Flack broke it.

"Lindsay I need to know how you feel about me." He knew it was straight to the point but he needed it out there.

"Flack you are one of my best friends in the world. I would never want to lose you. There is something there but I need time. Everything with Danny and the drama is just too much right now. I just need time." For the second time that day Lindsay was in tears again. "I'm sorry Don I have to go." Lindsay grabbed her purse and ran out of the restaurant. She was hurting so bad and the only one who could fix it wouldn't.

**A/N: Ok so this chapter is a bit on the shorter side but I promise I will make it up to you guys. This is more of filler. I have the whole story planned out I just need the time to type it out. You guys are awesome and your reviews mean so much to me. I will try to have another chapter up in a day or two.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to update but the past few days have been crazy for me. But I will try my best to update every one or two days. I hope you stay with the story and keep reviewing it makes the F***ed days better.**

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Lorelai: The only drawback is the name. Coco. Too cutesy. But he's a rescue so I don't wanna freak him out by giving him a new name right away, so I'm going to get to the name I want in baby steps. So for the first week I'll call him Coco to get him acclimated, then Coci, 3rd week Kooky, 4th week Tooky.

Luke: So you're going to name him Tooky?

Lorelai: No I'm going to name him Paul Anka but it's going to take awhile to get to Paul Anka.

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It had been two weeks since Lindsay told Flack she needed time and that's what he gave her. He never pushed to talk about them or what he wanted and she was thankful for that. Danny had been giving her the cold shoulder and only talking to her when needed. Today was day 15 of her thinking and Flack was getting tired of waiting. Flack found Lindsay sitting in her office all alone and he knew she would be for a while.

"Lindsay can we talk?" She looked up at the door and smile.

"Sure come sit." Flack took Dannys chair and sat beside her.

"I know I told you I'd give you time but I can't wait forever Lindsay. I have feelings for you strong ones and I wanna try this." Lindsay knew it was unfair to Don to make him wait around like this.

"You really wanna do this?" There was no harm in trying right?

"Yes I really wanna do this." There was a sparkle in his eyes that made Lindsay smile.

"Ok let's try it." Flack brought his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her into a kiss. Once they pulled back they both had smiles a mile wide.

"So can we go for dinner tonight as an official first date?"

"Ya I'd like that." Flack got up and left leaving Lindsay to finish her work and smiling. Lindsay couldn't believe that she was about to start dating Flack but for the first time in a while she was happy. Her shift went by fast and she was ready to go out with Flack. This was their first date and she was nervous as hell. This was after all Danny's best friend. The date was great. The food was amazing and everything clicked.

"I'm glad we did this." Lindsay grabbed on to Flacks hand as they walked to the car.

"So am I." He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it lightly. He opened the door for her to get in then went to the other side and got in himself. The drive to Lindsay apartment was silent and once they got their they sat outside for a bit.

"So you wanna come up?" Lindsay pointed to the door hoping for a yes. Flack looked at her with a side ways smile.

"You don't have to ask me twice." He turned off the car and unlocked the doors. The two just made it to her door when his lips crashed into hers. Lindsay struggled to get the door open, when she did he pushed her through and their clothes started to fly. The two ended up in her bedroom and ended the night how their thing started.


	7. Chapter 7

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Dr. House: You're pregnant.

Girl: I'm what?

Dr. House: Explains the nausea, abdominal pains, fever. And why you're stuffing your 36C's into a 34C bra.

Dr. Cuddy: And her rash?

Dr. House: PUPPPs. A common pregnancy rash.

Girl: I can't be pregnant.

Dr. House: You a virgin?

Girl: No, but—

Dr. House: You're pregnant. Mazel Tov.

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Lindsay was lying in her bed staring at the ceiling. Don was still in her bed beside her but she couldn't help but think about Danny. She missed him but it was over and she decided that today she would tell him that she was dating Flack so he didn't find out from someone else. She was brought out of her thought by her cell phone going off. She rolled over to pick it up.

"Monroe."

"Lindsay its Danny Mac needs us at a scene I'll text you the address."

"Sure thing I'll see you there." Lindsay hung up her phone and started to get dressed. Flack felt the bed move when she got up which caused him to wake up.

"You got called in?" He looked at her still half asleep.

"Ya but you go back to sleep there is a spear key in the kitchen if you have to leave if not I'll see you when I'm done." She bent down and gave him a quick peak then left. It was weird for her to leave a man in her bed. She and Danny were always sent out on calls together so they would leave at the same time. On the drive over her mind was filled with thoughts of her and Danny which she quickly tried to push out of her mind. She got to the scene and he was already waiting for her.

"Morning Lindsay." He was being very polite and trying his best to be the bigger person.

"Hey Danny what do we got?" The two went through out the scene collecting evidence and taking pictures. After about two hours Lindsay finally spoke.

"Danny can we talk once we get back to the lab?"

"Sure." He knew what was coming but he needed to hear in from her. They finished their work and went back to the lab to start processing. Once everything was done the two met in their office.

"Hey Danny." Lindsay was already sitting at her desk and she watched Danny sit at his.

"Hey so you wanted to talk?"

"I just wanted you to hear it from me that me and Don are seeing each other." She could pain in his eyes and it hurt her.

"I kinda had a feeling but you know what Lindsay if you're happy then that's all I can ask for." Without another word Danny got up and walked out of the office. He wanted her to be happy but it was still killing him to see her move on. Before he made it to the locker room the tears started to fall. Lindsay stayed in their office shocked at what he had said. She couldn't believe that Danny had just let go without a fight. She wasn't sure if she was hurt or happy.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey Guys! I hope everyone had good holidays. Sorry I haven't updated but with the holidays it has just been crazy. I was going to write new chapters today but I found out this morning that one of my friends took his own life yesterday so now I'm dealing with that. Once my head is clear and straight I promise I will update like crazy. Thank you to everyone who has read the stories and kept up to date with them it means a lot. Just stick with it and they will be up soon hopefully.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey everyone! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for their kind words and support through everything I've been through the past two weeks. It has been hard and you're messages meant a lot to me Thank you******

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"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb."

"What a stupid lamb"

"What a sick, masochistic lion"- Twilight

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The 8 months of Lindsay and Flack's relationship were good. Danny seemed like he let go of the anger and was nice to her again. Don really was prince charming doing everything that the perfect boyfriend would do. She was happy and the pain of everything that happens was now lesser and she was grateful for that. After it first happened she kept having dreams about Danny and every time she would wake up in tears or out of breath. Today Lindsay was lying in bed staring the wall beside her it was the first night in 7 months that she had a dream, the first time since Don starting staying at her house. The dream had the same effect of her as always leaving her hurting and breathless. Every time Danny kissed the tip of her nose then walked away from her. Even with her calling out to him he just walked away.

"Linds sweetie are you ok?" Flack lifted his head so he could look at her face.

"Ya I'm fine just a bad dream." She gave him a sweet smile hoping that would be him at ease.

"It was just a dream baby." He kissed the tip of her nose just like Danny did in her dream. Lindsay closed her eyes and held her breath because the pain was too much. "Come on we have to get up for work." He pulled the blankets back and pulled Lindsay up. Two hours the two of them were showered and on their way to work. The whole drive to work Lindsay didn't speak just looked out the window. For some reason each day that pasted she missed Danny more and more but knew she couldn't be with him. The two arrived at their adjoining offices gave a quick kiss then went their different ways. Usually the dreams didn't bother Lindsay once she was up and going but today it was really eating at her. Lindsay barley made it to her office when a case was handed to her and she was off again. Of corse it was just her luck that Danny was on this case too.

"Morning Montana." That was the first time in a long time he called her that and it made her hurt even more.

"Hey Danny." Her voice was small and broken. Danny looked up at her and could see it right away she wasn't right.

"Are you ok Linds?" He took a step towards her.

"Ya just not sleep well." She tried her back to give him a smile. Danny crossed the gap between then and put his hand on her head.

"Linds you're burning up." He put his camera down and placed his other hand on her cheek. She wanted to cry right now but she knew she couldn't. She pulled Danny's hands from her face and smiled.

"I'm ok I swear." That was the end of it. Danny went back to his work but kept an eye on her the whole time. The two finished up the work quickly and went back to the lab. Lindsay dropped off her stuff in the trace lab then went to the locker room to be alone. The moment the door closed and she was on the bench she broke down in tears. Every thing was too much for her to handle. The dreams, the way he held her face today, the way Don loved her it was all to much. Lindsay was so caught up in her break down she didn't hear the door open and Stella walk in.

"Linds are you ok?" Stella put her arm around her and pulled her tight to her chest. Lindsay wrapped her arms around her friend and cried harder.

"I miss him so much." Stella knew the him she was talking about and her heart broke for her friend.

"I know you do sweetie I know you do."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey Guys! Here is yet another chapter of a story I love to write. I know I said a general thank you in the last chapter but I wanted to thank ****Devil-may-care101****, ****McMackenzie****, ****KelleighDuquesne****, and ****vikkilynne93**** for you sweet messages. I love reading your reviews but I loved it the most during that time so once again from the bottom of my heart thank you. Now I will stop rambling and get on with it.**

After Lindsay break down in the locker room with Stella she went back to the office to finish her work. She saw Don walk by the office and then remembered that he had a whole night planned for them back at her place. She was tired and really just wanted to sleep but there was no way she could blow him off not after how good he's been to her. She tired her best to smile and put it out of her mind. How could she not be happy she had prince charming. Flack walked into her office breaking into her thoughts.

"Hey babe I'm off now so I'm gonna go to your place and get everything ready for tonight ok?" Flacks smile could warm anyone's heart.

"Ok I'll see you tonight." She walked over to him pulling him into a tight hug not wanting to let go. Don pulled her tight to his chest and kissed the top of her head.

"Love you Linds"

"Love you too." They gave each other a quick peck then pulled away. Sitting back at her desk she did her best to get it done so she could leave. Four hours later she was on her way home to spend a romantic night with Flack. She walked down to her car and saw something on her seat it was a cd. Picking up the case she read the note that was attached.

_Play on your way home and listen to "Our Song"._

She couldn't help but giggle when she put the cd in. It was all Taylor Swift and the first song was "Our Song." For New York the traffic wasn't bad and she made it home in 10 minutes. Walking into her apartment she saw that it was filled with roses of every colour and size. Walking further into the apartment she couldn't help but smile at everything he had done. She heard him walking our for the room and jumped into his arms.

"I take it you like it?" He kissed her deeply and placed her feet back on the floor.

"Yes I do its beautiful." She looked around the apartment at all the flowers and candles. Flack picked her up again and brought her over to the table placing her in her seat.

"Let's eat." Through the whole meal the two made small talk about their days and just random things that neither knew about each other. The dinner had gone perfectly but Flack was starting to get a little nervous. He reached across the table and grabbed Lindsay's hand.

"Linds there is something I wanted to talk about." She had a feeling what he was going to say and she was all ready getting teary eyes. "Lindsay I love you and I'm not the type of guy to have a whole speech about being the one and fate but I know I love you with all my heart and I want nothing more then for you to be my wife. Will you marry me?" He dropped to one knee and the tears started to flow. Lindsay was so confused but she knew what she had to do.

"Don I can't I am so sorry but I can't." Flack got off his knee and sat back on his chair the pain written all over his face.

"You still love Danny don't you?" the words cut Lindsay to her core.

"There are feelings there, because... when that ended, I just jumped. I never fully let go."

"It is partly my fault I pushed you."

"If it was just that I would say we could fix this but its not just that. After what he did this you were this wonderful possibility. But it's just not right. And I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Linds please." Tears were starting to form in his eyes.

"I need you to know... that you're the man... I want to want" she dropped her head to look at her hands not baring to look into his eyes.

"I know Linds."

"You don't know how badly."

"I know." He got up off his chair and kissed the top of her head. "I know." Flack placed the ring on her counter and walked out her door. Lindsay wanted so bad to run after him and tell him yes but she knew that her heart didn't fully belong to him.

**A/N 2: So here it is. I hope you guys like it I had like tears in my eyes when I was typing the last part. Part of the "No" speech was from Gilmore Girls I just added stuff here and there to make it fit to them.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello my wonderful readers. I am so sorry for not updating soon I know I suck you can throw stuff at me now lol. To be honest I really didn't like the last chapter I'm thinking of re-writing it but we'll see. For those of you who watched Third Watch when it was on you know that the quote who from when Bobby was shot (I cry like a baby every time I see that episode.) I picked this one because it goes perfectly with this chapter. I hope you enjoy. **

**DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD**

Kim: Bobby, you stay with me! You hear me?-Third Watch

**LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL**

"10-13 shots fired Officer down" Lindsay yelled over and over again but nobody seemed to be listening to her. Looking around all she could see was blood covering every inch of the crime scene. Her mind was racing a million miles a minute and her heart was beating just as fast. How could this have happened? The first on scene checked the whole building and it was clear. Looking down at her hand they were now covered in blood from where she was trying to stop the bleeding. There was a whole in his chest that she was trying desperately to keep closed. Slowly she moved one of her hands to check for a pulse and found a weak one.

"Danny you stay with me! You hear me?"

_2 hours Earlier_

Lindsay was sitting in her office waiting for Stella to come back from a crime scene. The day had been slow so Lindsay was just doing paper work. Every time the elevator would dig she would look up to see who it was. She hadn't had a chance to tell Stella about the whole Flack thing and she was dying to get it off her chest. She hadn't seen Flack yet today which she was some what grateful for. Danny was sitting in the office with her at first but gave up trying to talk to her and left. Hearing the bell ding again she looked at and smile because finally Stella was back.

"Stell in here." Standing at her door she waved for her friend to come in.

"Hey Lindsay what's up?" Stella sat down at Danny's desk and started playing with stuff on it.

"Something big happened last night." Stella gave Lindsay a weird look.

"What kind of big?"

"Flack proposed." Before Lindsay could continue Stella cut her off.

"WHAT." Stella was shocked.

"I said no. I couldn't say yes and still have the feeling I do for Danny." Looking down at her hands she couldn't believe what she had just admitted. "He was so hurt by it Stell I feel so bad."

"You did the right thing kiddo. I know right he hurt and you feel horrible. But what is better being hurt now and still being friends afterwards or saying yes getting married and living in a horrible marriage?" Lindsay knew Stella was right.

"You are a very wise woman you know that right." Lindsay smile up at the women who became her best friend.

"I know I know I am just so wonderful." Both girls started laughing. The two continued talking about what they had been up to lately and plans for later.

"I'm hungry want to go get some food?" Stella was playing with one of her curls trying to keep busy.

"Sure Stell let me grab my stuff." Lindsay started going through the desk taking out what she would need for lunch. On their way out they saw Danny.

"Hey Messer want to come to lunch with us?" Lindsay was trying her best to do the whole friend thing.

"I have test to run sorry ladies." Before Lindsay could speak again Stella was already on it.

"It's ok we'll bring you back something Lindsay knows what you like." Lindsay couldn't help but blush at Stella's words.

"Thanks guys." Danny stood there and watched as the girls walked away. No matter how hard he tired he couldn't stop missing his Montana and it was eating him up inside. Opening back up the folder he went back to work. The girls spent an hour just eating and talking with nothing else to do. The two decided that they had been gone long enough and headed back to the lab. Walking out of the elevators the two went their separate ways leaving Lindsay to go find Danny and bring him his food. Looking through the different lab she finally found him in trace waiting for test results to come back.

"Hey Danny here's you food." She moved some of his papers aside and put his food down.

"Thanks Montana how much do I owe you." He was about to take out his wallet when she stopped him.

"Don't worry about it it's on me." Giving him a smile over her shoulder she walked about back to their office. Once again Danny just watched her walk away not even bothering to hide his smile. Lindsay didn't even make it back to their office when she got the call to go a scene. Lindsay quickened her pace to get her kit when she heard foot steps running up behind her.

"Let's go partner." Danny had whispered in her ear sending chills down her spine. Both got their kits and went to the car to leave for the scene. The two didn't bother talking on the way over just kept giving each other sideways glances. It was a typical scene nothing stood out. Husband caught wife cheating so husband shot both wife and other man blood was all over the bed and back wall. Walking in looking at the bodies Danny couldn't help but make a smart ass remark.

"Talk about shot through the heart." Looking at Lindsay waiting to see her response she couldn't help but laugh.

"How long you've been waiting to bust that one out Messer?"

"Longer then you think." Once the two were done joking they started to process the scene. All the other officers had either left or were outside looking for the husband. Danny and Lindsay had bag , photographed and collected everything they need and were about to leave when they heard the first shot. Looking around the room Lindsay couldn't see anything until she looked at Danny. He was kneeling beside her his hand on his chest blocking a whole where blood was coming out. Before Lindsay could grab her gun the husband was already on his way out of the house. Dropping to her knees beside Danny she put pressure on his chest and started her call.

"10-13 shots fired Officer down" Lindsay yelled over and over again but nobody seemed to be listening to her. Looking around all she could see was blood covering every inch of the crime scene. Her mind was racing a million miles a minute and her heart was beating just as fast. How could this have happened? The first on scene checked the whole building and it was clear. Looking down at her hand they were now covered in blood from where she was trying to stop the bleeding. There was a whole in his chest that she was trying desperately to keep closed. Slowly she moved one of her hands to check for a pulse and found a weak one.

"Danny you stay with me! You hear me?" Danny just made a faint noise and put his hand on top of Lindsay's. "Helps on the way Danny you have to stay with me." Danny tried to raise his hand to touch her face but blacked out before he reached. Kicking into life saving mode Lindsay started CPR. While she was doing compressions she heard the sires letting her know help was here.

"You hear that Danny they are here you're gonna be ok." The whole team ran into the scene and saw Lindsay kneeling beside Danny's lifeless body covered in blood.

"Lindsay what happened?" Mac was trying his best to stay clam. Just as Lindsay was about to explain the paramedic came in and took over working on Danny.

"We were about to leave and then the husband came out of no where and shot Danny. It all happened so fast." Lindsay and the team watched on helplessly while they tried to revive Danny. Flack grabbed Lindsay and pulled her into his chest.

"it's ok Linds he's gonna be ok." Don didn't know that and by the looks of his friend it probably wouldn't be only but he could only hope for the best. Everyone just stood there helpless as they watched their friend being taken out of the building and put into the ambulance.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Ok here is another wonderful chapter(well at least I think they are wonderful) I usually do quotes at the beginning of my stories but this time I'm putting a song. It fits perfectly for this chapter so I'm replacing me quote with it. Hope you like.**

_If I ever leave this world alive  
I'll thank for all the things you did in my life  
If I ever leave this world alive  
I'll come back down and sit beside your  
feet tonight  
Wherever I am you'll always be  
More than just a memory  
If I ever leave this world alive_

Danny was in surgery and would be for another 4 hours. They never wear vests when they go to collect so the damage was pretty bad. No matter how many times every one tried to tell her he will be ok she just kept telling them "There's a hole in his chest." Lindsay was surprised that even thought just 24 hours ago she turned down Flack he was still there for her. Stella convinced Lindsay to go to home with her and shower to get Danny's blood off her. It was weird being in her apartment because she spent so much time at Flack's once they started dating. Stella went into the fridge to get a drink while Lindsay showered. Her room was the same as she left it last night. Her bed was unmade and a shirt was hanging on the bed post. Looking at the shirt she remembered it had been there a while. Picking it up she smelt it and it still smelt like him. It was one of his shirts that he left at her place. Once she brought it down from her face she noticed something shinny hanging on the post where the shirt use to be. She couldn't help but smile when she noticed what it was. It was his dog tags and she remembered the night he put them there. It was the night before everything fell apart.

_Flashback_

"_Montana you coming?" Danny had just gotten home from work and was waiting for Lindsay to come take a shower with him._

"_Jeez cowboy I'll be there in a minute." Lindsay was just ordering their dinner for the night then she would be right it._

"_You're taking too long I'm already naked." She could hear the smirk in his voice. Lindsay finished the call and went back into her room to see Danny standing there fully clothed._

"_Naked huh?" Lindsay just stood in the door way and smiled at him._

"_I knew the thought of me naked would get you in her now lets go." Danny took off his dog tags and hung them on the side of the bed where he sleeps. Lindsay loved watching him get undressed in her room it gave her a warm feeling. Once he was really fully naked Danny crossed the room and pulled Lindsay into his arms._

"_Now its time for you to lose the clothes." Danny started to kiss her passionately and then moved down her neck. Before she knew it her pants her undone and her shirt was already off._

"_You work fast Messer." Danny just smirked at her and finished taking off her jeans. Once they were off he scooped her up in his arms and carried her over to the shower._

_End Flashback_

Lindsay sat on her bed smiling at the memory. She couldn't believe how everything changed from that night to now. Lindsay was lost in thought when Stella came into her room.

"Linds you ok you haven't showered yet." Lindsay just nodded and headed off into the bathroom. Once she was in the bathroom she took off her bloody clothes and threw them in a corner. She was going to throw them right out there was no way she would wear them again. Turning the water on as hot and her skin could stand Lindsay got in the shower and sat on the floor and cried. After about half a hour Lindsay pulled her self off the shower floor and dried herself off. Going through her closet she couldn't help but noticed how much of Danny's clothes had been left at her house. Pushing them aside she grabbed something to wear so her and Stella could get back to the hospital.

_If I ever leave this world alive  
I'll take on all the sadness  
That I left behind  
If I ever leave this world alive  
The madness that you feel will soon subside  
So in a word don't shed a tear  
I'll be here when it all gets weird  
If I ever leave this world alive_

It had been seven hours since Danny was brought in and he was finally out of surgery. The hole in his chest was patched up and now all that was left for him to do was wake up for the coma he slipped into. The fact that he survived the surgery was amazing in itself. Danny was put in his room and now the team could finally go in to see him. They decide they would go in small groups to make things easier. Everyone from the lab was there not just the people who went out in the field. The firsts up were Mac, Hawkes, and Adam. The three of them went in the room one on each side of the bed and one at Danny's feet. The three of them talked to Danny telling him what had happened to him and everything that had happened since. Once they were done Stella went in by herself. She was going to wait for Angel and Sid but they were both caught up in something else. Once she was in his room she took the seat where Mac just sat. she grabbed his hand a kissed the top of it and started talking to him.

"This has been on messed up day. You're gonna get through this for the simple fact you have to. So many people would fall apart if you were here so you need to wake up. I love you like you're my bother and I would be so lost if you were gone." Stella was now crying and just staring at Danny's face. She kissed his hand once more and placed it back on the bed and then left. Once she came out it was Flack's turn to go it. Things had been tense since the whole Lindsay thing but this was his best friend lying here there was nothing that would stop him from being in there. Flack took over Stella's spot and just sat in silence for a good twenty minutes. Finally he spoke.

"Hey Messer. I know things have been rough between us and it freaking sucks. You're my best friend man and nothing could keep us apart for long. Anyways you won the girl. I asked her to marry me and she said no because she was in love with you. I know I should be pissed as hell but I'm not because all along I knew it should have been you two. Just make her happy that's all I ask." Once Flack was done talking he sat there a little longer just staring at his best friends pale face. After Flack left the room it was now Lindsay's turn to go in. Stella gave her a hug for support and Flack squeezed her shoulder as she walked by. Going into his room she broke down again seeing him lying in the bed so helpless and broken. Sitting in on of the empty seats by his bed she took his hand and just looked at him.

"I am so sorry Danny. Not just for today but for everything. I have made so many mistakes and I will never forgive myself for them. You have to be ok Danny you don't have a choice in the matter you have to be ok." Lindsay kissed the top of his hand then laid her head on top of it. Lindsay stayed this way thinking about Danny and remembering different times together. She was about to put her hands in her pocket when she felt something it there. His dog tags. Pulling them out she smiled she had forgotten that she brought them with her to give to him. Lifting her head up she started talking to him again.

"You will never believe what I found today." She paused at if she was waiting for him to say what. "I was in my room and there was a shirt hanging on the bed post so I moved it and your dog tags were hanging under it. I can't believe they have been under there so long and neither of us noticed them. Well anyways I have them with me so when you wake up I can give them back." Lindsay returned her head to the top of his hand and sighed. It was then she heard the voice that brought her so much joy and so much pain.

"Keep em baby."

__

So when in doubt just call my name  
Just before you go insane  
If I ever leave this world  
Hey I may never leave this world  
But if I ever leave this world alive


	13. Chapter 13

_One Year Later_

Lindsay couldn't believe how much has changed in a year. Now she was in a room at the back of a church with Stella, Jessica, Kendal and her mom waiting for her wedding to start. 3 months after Danny got shot he proposed but this time did it right. He got down on one knee and made it a huge romantic thing. Things with Flack had gone back to the way they were before the cheating and the relationship. Now he was happy with Jessica which everyone was grateful for. Life was good again. Lindsay was brought out of her thoughts by a light knock on the door.

"Come in." She turned to see her Dad sticking his head in the room.

"It's time baby girl are you ready?" Lindsay never gave her parents details around the break up with Danny because she didn't want them to hate him. All the girls got up from their chairs and headed for the door. Stella gave Lindsay on last hug and a kiss on the cheek then handed her flowers.

"I'm ready as I'll ever be." Lindsay took one last look in the mirror and her face was glowing. Turning toward the door she went to meet her father thinking this is the last time she would ever me Lindsay Monroe. All of the girls were standing in the hall waiting for her and that's when it fully hit her she was about to get married. The girls look beautiful in their blue cocktail dresses and Casablanca Lilies in hand. Lindsay dress was amazing. When she was younger she never wanted a big dress but the moment she seen it she feel in love. It was ivory with spaghetti straps and a deep V neckline. The skirt was full with sliver and white flowers on it. Her flowers were lilies and roses. All the girls were now lined up at the doors waiting for the music to start for them to leave. Lindsay had each parent of either side of her one holding her hand and her arm looped through her dads. The music started and the girls went on their way. When it was just her and her parents left Lindsay took a deep breath trying to fight off the tears.

"I love you mom." Lindsay turned to look at her mom and smiled.

"I love you too baby." Lindsay turned to her dad.

"I love you daddy and I'll always be your baby girl." Her dad smiled back and her and kissed her on the cheek. Just then the doors opened again telling them it was time to start their walk. The moment she was in the door way everyone's eyes were on her but hers were glued on Danny. He looked amazing in his suite she couldn't wait to be able to kiss him. The whole walk up the aisle cameras flashed but her eyes didn't leave Danny's once and the smile never left either of their faces. Finally she was standing right in front of him watching him shake her dad's hand and give her mom a kiss. Once he was done he turned to her took her hand and smile as they walked back up to the step to start the ceremony.

"Dearly beloved we are gathered her today." The priest started the hour long mass. Before Lindsay knew it she heard the words she had been dying to hear all day. "You may kiss your bride." Danny left go of Lindsay's hands and cupped her face pulling her in for a passionate kiss. The whole church erupted in whistles and claps. Pulling apart she smiled at him and mouthed "I love you." Grabbing her hand he started leading her back down the aisle toward the Limo. The two stopped at the back of the church so everyone could go out side.

"We're married." Lindsay was so excited she was always jumping up and down.

"Yes we are." Danny couldn't believe after everything that had happened they were now married. Once everyone was outside it was now time to make their excited. The moment the doors opened everyone started to clapped and throw the rose petals up in the air for them to walk through. Once they made it through they stood in front of the limo so everyone could give their congratulations. Flack was the first one to come up to them. Pulling Lindsay into a hug he whispered in her ear.

"I'm happy for you Linds." He pulled back and kissed her on the cheek to move on to Danny.

"Danno you're married." The two men gave each other a hug.

"Thanks for being my best man Flack."

"I am the best man for the job." The couple looked at him and matching smirks at the lame attempt at a joke. Once everyone was done the two got into the Limo to go get their pictures done.

"I love you Danny Messer."

"I love you Lindsay Messer." Lindsay couldn't help but smile at her new name. It was now four hours since the start of the wedding and the limo was pulling up in front of the reception hall.

"Ready." Danny kissed the top of Lindsay's hand.

"Let's go" Lindsay was the first one out of the Limo and was pulling on Danny's arm to hurry up. The two climbed the stairs hand in hand and waited at the doors for the Dj to announce their arrival.

"Can everybody turn their attention to the door and help me welcome the new Mr and Mrs Danny Messer." With once last kiss Danny squeezed Lindsay's hand.

"That's us baby."

**A/N: So here is the end to the beautiful story. I really enjoyed writing it hope you enjoyed reading it. I added the pictures of the dresses and rings on my profile if you want to see. **


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